Monday, June 9, 2014

In Process...

About a week ago, I sat on the shores of Lake Erie watching the sun go down over the flames of this fire and actually had the thought....
Bare with me, it's about to get weird.......
I haven't been fully me for awhile now.  I love this, this's precious.  I feel fully me right now, but the sun is going down and unless this fire is fueled, it will cool and go out.
If you are still here and still reading, Hi!
I am blessed, don't get me wrong!  I know I lead a beautiful, blessed life.
Wonderful Marriage, family, friends, joy, health, and believe me, I'm not about to go all whiny here on this blog.
I had spent moments before that sunset, walking along that shore with this life's love, my husband who had surprised me with this amazing weekend getaway, collecting driftwood and dreaming.
I was the most "me" I had been for awhile.
at peace
I had missed that person.
I told my husband....
"please, let's not forget who we are when we go home"
So, I'm creating again.
I have paint, driftwood, creative ideas, and an empty Etsy site to fill.
It's a start.
I began a painting a few weeks ago on a large canvas.
feeling the need for newness, rebirth, to refresh, I've been obsessed with nests.
This is the work in progress.  I go into my lil room, give it a look and create a little more texture and build up here and there and I'm spending no more than about 10 minutes at a time on it.  It feels healing to me to do this if that makes any sense to anyone out there who may read this.
It makes me feel warm, enclosed, held, comforted...what those eggs nestled in the center must feel as they are protected from outside elements while they are growing and developing.
I too am a work in progress.  Growing, developing, and becoming.
We all are.

Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.



  1. What a beautiful post. :) Glad you are creating, it is such a joy.

  2. Oh...what you've said really resonates. Especially "...the sun is going down and unless this fire is fueled, it will cool and go out."
    I, too, have a blessed life compared with the rest of the world - I have two 20-something daughters, one amazing son-in-law, both of my girls are self-sustaining. I have a roof over my head at night and full-time work so that I can pay for it...and food...and gas for my car to get me there each day.
    My marriage legally ended 8 yrs ago just after our 25th anniversary - it probably was just about dead 15 yrs ago or so after my once-believing husband abandoned all that is God, all that is beautiful, all that is decent and moral.
    I hung on to hope too long and, in the process, killed a piece of myself that I just cannot regain. I have faint memories of who I once was in the time before perpetual heartache - how do I find her again?
    I believe Philippians 1:6....I just feel like His work in me is done :-(

    Thanks for listening today.

    1. Dear Anonymous,
      Thank you for posting your comment on this post. I must tell you that my heart hurt as you shared what I'm sure is a microscopic part of your story. I am pausing this morning to pray for you, to ask God, the Father, the perfect lover of our soul, to give you an exciting vision for your life and to heal all the hurts and bring restoration to those areas that have been hurt the most. I am sorry that you've had these experiences. I am believing for you that you will look back on the statement you made that His work in you is done and claim victory that there is much more.
      God Bless you today and every day.

    2. Thank you for your post way-back-when, Tina. I've come back to read it many times. I'd like to say things are "better", but I think they're just "different". About 6 weeks ago, my ex-husband died. my girls and I have other layers of grieving "what was", "what could have been" and "what will never be" to work through. It's OK. We'll get there. God is good and to that I cling.

    3. Oh my dear, I am so very sorry to know of this loss. I know you've been through so much and I have been listening to a pod cast by Andy Stanley called "In the Meantime" I feel it could be an encouragement to you. It sure has been to me. I am praying for you as I write this. God is faithful.


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Blessings to you and have an Artful day!